I Hope My Bike Takes You Straight to Hell

From Found Magazine:

"MISSING!!!

My bike was stolen from my front lawn last week. It is a one-speed bike with a skull flag and a lightning bolt on it. The flag and the lightning bolt may have been removed. This bik was brand new from the store.

NO REWARD

I don't even want this bike back. I just made these flyers to tell you that I hate you, bike thief. I hope you ride my bike without a helmet and get hit by a monster truck.

I hope my bike takes you straight to hell."